Being a Person With Space


Being a Person with Space

This kind of person is very special. They have a gift. It's kind of like grace under pressure except the person doesn't feel pressure, because they have no attachments putting pressure on them. They have no self-importance pushing them to defend themselves. They have room to maneuver, space.

Japanese Expression

I can't say I got this idea from the Japanese. On the other hand I can say while learning Japanese I confirmed this idea and made it more clear. That's because in Japanese there's a word that I can't quite find an equivalent for in English. The word is 余裕 and it is pronounced yo-yu. It means to have space or play or room to maneuver. It means to have extra. Not extra things, but extra space. It can be a physical thing or an abstract thing. It can be actual space in the room, or mental space or distance from a problem.

People with ‘Extra’

These people feel confident and stand alone, not needing the acceptance of others so they don't rush to curry favor with others. Instead they can see clearly and perceive the situation for what it is without the filters that self importance imposes. This space makes them less biased and less 'needy'. When other people express their desires or dependencies, they are exposing their neediness, which is ultimately just a weakness. These needs are self created and self imposed albeit unconsciously, by our attachments. They are the cause of our suffering, although we rarely admit it or even recognize it.

How to Get this ‘Extra’

I feel we can become these kinds of people after we have reduced most of our attachments. When we are attached to things or situations we try to get those things, keep those things or maintain those things, or situations. Usually this implies some kind of force, although it might not be overt force, it could be a covert force.

With respect to human relationships this desire to acquire or maintain some situation usually forces us, or rather causes us to become manipulative. At the same time we are living in a world with other people who are equally attached to things in situations and they are also being manipulative, so our attachments make us pray to their manipulations. A person with this space has fewer attachments so they are less manipulative, and less prone to others manipulations.