cobwebs
memories
self
horses
everything
breath
spidery attachments
I have been working on clearing my emotionally charged memories for about two years now. I believe my memories are the basis of my attachment to things. They are like spidery cobwebs in the mind, attaching me to things in all sorts of ways. And like cobwebs, they are attached to me and have an action <-> reaction type of behaviour which leaves me vulnerable to my environment.
Like cobwebs, you would think that they are whispy and virtually incapable of influencing us. But years and years and years of these whispy invisible cobwebs all together can have an amazing impact on our thoughts, feelings and actions.
Many many of these cobwebs filling the mind prevent clarity of vision, a sort of sobriety that only comes from having few or no attachments.
deeper, brighter, more detailed
They key to removing these cobwebs is to relive your memories as much as possible. To re-experience they sights, and sounds, your feelings of the situation, the feelings of others, the smells, any small details you can from the event you are re-visiting.
After working on simple concrete things like the physical objects in the room, the weather, the temperature, you can move to some of the time based events and actions. Remember the words spoken the topics discussed. Then move on to your feelings and the feelings of those you are with. These feelings don't need names. Just remember the feelings.
Weaker is Stronger
All of your life you are responding to things and creating these attachments which are reinforcing the self. As the self gets stronger it creates a momentum of it's own, and starts to dominate your life. The self will convince you that what it wants is in your best interests. This is not always true. Often the self acts in a childish way against what is best for your wellbeing.
The weaker the self is, the stronger you are, as you are not goaded into stupid actions based on self-importance. Self importance is your biggest drain of energy and only leads to destructive self righteousness or sapping self pity.
The self is like a wild horse with a helpless rider on it's back. When the rider is weak, and the horse is strong, the horse is in control and seldom acts in the best interests of the rider. A strong rider is necessary to guide the horse in the best interests of the horse and the rider both.
This is impossible when there are too many cobwebs of the mind, each rooted in its own memory. Then the wild horse which is pulled by these strands goes in erratic and unpredictable directions and the horse itself is lost, not to speak of the rider.
What memories do we need to re-visit for cleaning? In the early stages, go for the low hanging fruit. These are often the strongest memories we have, full of emotions of one sort or another. However, as you proceed along this journey of self rediscovery, you will find that almost every memory has the cobwebs. No detail is too small to leave behind. Every revisted memory counts.
This is the magical part. By breathing in an exageratedly slow fashion we can reset our memories. The cobweb like attachments are blown away. The memory is refreshed. The attachment is removed and that small part of your life has been revitalized.