As I mentioned in a previous post, recently I was able to complete a bit project at work. That freed up my attention quite a bit and gave me more time to devote to other things. My emotional clearing pasttime is one of those things I ramped up. Partly as a result of my emotional clearing todate, I felt I could get jobs done faster, find solutions faster and learn faster. My ability to concentrate has gone up. My ability to produce sustained action has gone up. I am working harder now on my emotional clearing than before because I feel I am getting results.
Yesterday and today I was going through some old debris in my emotional past. I changed topics a few times and then settled on a particularly current topic. As a result of my contemplation, a small part of my minbd began to worry. Worry is not always bad, but in my case it can sometimes act as the food for the melancholy monster. I have felt the attack of the melancholoy monster many times in the past but the attack is usually so swift and damaging that I could not respond well or even recognize it in the past. Today, the melancholoy monster attacked.
{{ callout(text="...out of the blue ...") }}
It came out of the blue, as always, and pushed me into a profound state of melancholic despair. In the past I always got stuck there. but over the past few years, with my emotional clearing breathing technique, I have gotten better at dispelling it. Today was the best yet. I think I hit a record, dispelling the melancholy monster in a matter of a few hours. (Before my emotional clearing practice, I could expect a spell of melancholy to last weeks or months)
{{ callout(text="...maybe I can deal the death blow...") }}
Today I recognized it almost at the moment of attack. I was able to watch the melancholy monster's attack method, and not only parry it, but also go hunting. I pursued my prey and dealt some striking blows. The melancholy monster feeds on energy and past historical episode's energy. I could drain a lot of the monster's energy and then I went hunting into those past attacks and drained lots of the energy from those spells. I consider this to be a big victory. I don't think it is gone but it is certainly severly weakened and now I have had a chance to study both it's methods of attack and timing, and also how to wound it. In fact, I am looking forward to our next meeting, so maybe I can deal the death blow, or get considerably closer to doing so.