The more I proceed on my path of clearing emotional baggage the more I seem to grow. I think I found a deeper and more profound way of letting go of the emotional baggage. Letting go is definitely a skill, and it’s definitely very difficult. Yet at the same time it’s the simplest thing on earth. It feels like wishing to let go is meaningless, wanting to let go is equally meaningless. You have to have a deep rooted intent to let go but once you accomplish this it’s as simple as dropping a ball.
I found another change and it’s creeping over me slowly. When I go back and revisit my old memories more memories are coming to the surface and the same memories I visited before are becoming more vivid and more real. It’s like it’s growing and yet it’s always been a part of me. These two together have made dropping emotional baggage take on a sort of Life of its own. And I look forward to it everyday.
In fact when I remember some emotions and I’m in the middle of doing something else I kind of feel bad because I can’t stop what I’m doing and attend to that emotional baggage right away. And sometimes I forget it several hours later.
It also makes all the physical things much less intense. What I mean by this is when I eat food it still tastes good but it’s no longer as important as it used to be. When I get entertained by a movie or playing a game it’s still enjoyable, but it’s just not as important as it used to be. Something has changed there.
I have become aware that self-possession is far more valuable than any other possession, and the only person who can give it to you is yourself. Yet at the same time it requires lots of discipline. Having “things” is nice, but beyond a certain level it’s unnecessary. Entertainment is nice, but it seems like you’re just parking yourself in a comfortable position until you are a little closer to dying. I still enjoy entertainment, however it’s not as important as it used to be and it’s much better if it’s linked to some engaging purposeful action. Even just waiting, can be purposeful under the right circumstances. As I drop more and more emotional baggage I feel I am claiming greater and greater self possession, and that spurs me on for more.